"Ho there! Cazander Pisquare here, enthusiastic assistant engineer. Press the screen to escape this message and resume the feature Mars is for Heroes starring Queen McSteve as Major Bumkiss.
"In case you were wondering, I've got a report from the mummyship scooped fresh out of burbling verbose protein printout. After a grueling 5 nanosecond overhaul-- whoops, it's still sticky, gotta get it unwrinkled-- a scarab repair team got the boojums ironed out of the Snark drive. I bet you didn't even notice. You're sitting there in row *puce*, seat *lovejoy* and you didn't even detect the slightest flutter in fractal fun. Didja? What, you can't remember even getting on the ship? That's because we're dispensing as much ether as we're slipping through, like skating on squashseed shoes.
"The short explanation is that Spacemummy was trying to deal with a broken art and he didn't notice that boojums had entered the Snark drive through the compost reactor. Broken arm? No, I said art. He was looking over some old love poetry when he had a routine failure to thrive error. Usually it happens well after Solstice. But this time, he got struck down and within minutes he was laying in sickbay staring at the ceiling.
"Fortunately, the mummy's recovery time is getting shorter and shorter. Without anyone checking in on him, his state vector doesn't keep collapsing. Better to be left up to uncertainty than to pin a tail on his donkey.
"The remainder of your trip should be completely uneventful, so long as we don't get caught in the massive starjelly that's heading this way. The last thing we ask is that you all lean to the left when we play the first dozen notes to Living Thing by ELO. If you don't know what that is, follow your neighbor. Thanks for flying Transmummy Vectorways."