My name is Josie. Please don't ask me what I do. It's one of the most absurd questions. But I can see you won't stop until you get something. Let's just say I like my time.
My favorite subjects in school were math and science. I disappointed my parents by not studying medicine. At 17, I left the summer after high school and moved from my childhood home in New Jersey to Galveston, Texas. I hoped there to begin my study of time. Already I was working on a pattern, a long spiral, that has brought me to this point talking to you in a cafe in Seattle.
People don't really understand time. They're correct to think that it is a resource, but it's not measured out as they believe. This is because they can not see its beautiful geometry. For example, time has arcs. It accelerates, peaks and plummets. During its acceleration, it is truly moving faster. I enjoy this phase, but it is not my favorite. My favorite is the peak, where time slows. Sometimes, you get a timeless feeling in this phase, when the moments stretch and you can see the granularity of events. Then comes the plummet where I look for a place to land, a seat or bed or a pause before saying goodbye. Then the cycle begins again.
To appreciate time, you must identify the chronovores. These are forces that trap time. The television is one. It blurs and wipes experience. It teaches one thing, very crudely, that time is cyclical. Stick around, your favorite show will be on again. But the price for that elementary lesson is more precious time.
A bus ride is much cheaper. For instance, just today, I left home, went to my bus stop. I got on the bus and went downtown. I spent a great deal of time in a bookstore reading. Then I returned. There's a beautiful loop. Very simple. It was also full of little rituals, loops to note, getting coffee, looking in on some cute store clerk who has been working in one place too long. Free yourself, darling.
As for relationships, I look for the danger signs. When the geometry gets too complex, I jet. I meet very few families. And anyone that talks about past loves is out. I don't need to know about the crazy sex you had as a teenager. I had plenty myself. And if he has a big piece of damage that he won't let go of, you will will see the pieces orbiting, as around a collapsed star.
Recently, I dated a man who I'll call Mark. Mark is a writer. He works a random job and then suffers away on little pieces of fiction. One day he suggested I meet his ex. "She lives nearby. Let's go visit." It seemed like a lark. But in his eyes, he seemed to have planned it.
"And why should I do that, dear?"
"So that you can better understand me." Mark, the poor chronovore, reveals himself. Do you want life to excite the crystals in your mind, or do you want to trap experience? And how can you trap it without killing it. Oh no, no, Mark, I will not be embalmed. That was that. Sayonara Mark.
Not to say I don't have friends. I have some very dear friends, long-time people. But these are folks who understand. They keep our conversations and visits to easy loops. Hello, so glad to see you, goodbye. With our shared experiences, we get a timeless feel around each other. I've had many friends remark to me, "It's like no time has passed at all since the last time I saw you."
And I say, "I like you. You have a memory. You remember what I like, what my sadnesses are. I don't have to tell you things over and over."
My journey here to Seattle, as I've said, has been a spiral around the edge country. I spent a year in Santa Fe, a couple in San Francisco, three in Portland. But here, I have begun to slow down. Moving from residence to residence in the same city, I was worried that this spiral was winding down, that my days would quicken at a lucrative job, or as a wife, if I was not careful and fell in love with a chronovore. But now I realize that I am gathering energy to spring again. In fact, I think this girl is about to hit her stride.
From here, I leap across the Pacific, to continue a spiral across Asia, looking for other students of time. Because of the branching nature of time, I can't see exactly where that path will lead. The spiral could churn off in any direction.
My name is Josie. I am a Chronovore. But the difference between me and you is that I know it.