"So what were you two doing in there?" the Count asked.
Katrina looked at the Count and Juliette snuggled up on the couch, a tray of nachos on the coffeetable in front of them. "Wow, snacksess. You two should talk. When I came back from Liquor World, I thought I'd find you smoking." Mikey sat down close to his drugs, but seemed to decide against playing with them.
"We were on fire all right," the Count said, in a voice like a used car dealer, pulling Juliette closer.
With her face smooshed up against the Count's chest said, "I should have my emergency exits better marked."
"I could find them in the dark, love."
"I wish I had thrown the cold water on you guys," Camille said with distaste. "Like persian cats in heat. Hairballs everywhere. And now everyone's at it." She points to Katerina who has seamlessly insinuated her head onto Mikey's lap.
With a placid look for a guy who has had a generous bump of crank, Mikey began to play with her hair, perhaps to take his mind off his own truncated 'do. Kat looked up at him and sighed. "I really need a boyfriend."
"But you have me."
"You're sweet, but it's not the same. You don't leave right after sex and forget to call me for a week."
"You know, I've had sex with a girl before."
Katerina closed her eyes tightly and pushed at Mikey's face. "Don't! You're ruining my naive fantasies. Either you're gay or you're not."
"Oh, I'm very gay. Make no bones about it."
"Ha ha. Bones. Was this in high school when you didn't know?"
"No. I knew. It was a couple years ago. I got a job doing window displays, but I still had to drop out of school because I wasn't making enough money."
"Are you going to talk about the sex or the window dressing?" Camille teased him. "You must be a fag."
"Don't be nasty or you'll get no story. I lived in the middle of Indiana and didn't have many prospects. So I had this female roommate, one of the only faghags in my old town. One night we got really drunk and she had this idea that we could fool around."
"No fucking way. How did you get past the equipment problems?"
"I imagined that she was a boy from one of my classes."
"So you were on top."
"Figure it out."
"I wonder what Rudy's doing right now," Katerina said after a very short pause.
"Ah Rudy," Lady Camille mused, "A lowly newt worthy of a good thrashing," she added appreciatively.
"Don't you think Mikey and Rudy would get along?" Kat wondered.
"Well, if you're thinking of getting along as in having the sex, one thing stands in the way. That is the fact that Rudy is straight," Camille said, looking through her drink at Mikey.
Katrina sat up and turned to Camille. "But he's never had a girlfriend. And he's totally floppy and flustered."
"He just has a very healthy, at least from my perspective, masochistic streak."
"He might be supressing."
"Non. Non."
Katerina sprang to her feet. "I got an idea. Does anyone want a salad?"
Everyone exclaimed at the same, and though each said their own, had the effect of a 19th century crowd uttering "Hurrah!" All except Mikey who had no idea what was going on.